Starting.

      I've been suffering the realization that despite still being quite young, I am not young. Each year will bring more obstacles and responsibilities whether I want them or not. It's sort of funny how you spend your entire childhood and teenage years wanting to race to adulthood like there is automatically a car, career, house, and a family at the finish line. Naive; Which is perfectly alright for a child to be, because with age comes knowledge. You learn what's right and what's wrong, test the boundaries, scope out how the older people act. Poor some juicy juice in a wine glass, alongside your pack of candy cigarettes. Blow an invisible smoke ring, and pound your beverage only to wobble away for another glass. These things were perfectly normal, because the race had begun.
     As you get older you realize that you actually have to invest energy in achieving what you want, some really go one hundred percent, whilst others (such as myself) searched for the quick and easy. The second route is full of disappointment and a lot of tail chasing, then regret when you understand that had you only put forth the effort you would have been exactly where you wanted to be. For some reason I've always allowed myself to learn everything the hard way, just to forget and repeat the mistakes. Twenty two. Perhaps it's time to get serious? Something in my head is telling me that I should have gotten serious a while ago.
      There is no car, career, or house. I still have family, although not my own. Had I spent a fraction of the time I took to map out ways to get away with the bare minimum, I would have had all of that. But now that I know why everything turned out so bizarre, I can stop mapping out the course and just go full speed ahead. No short cuts, or promises to do it all later. Later never really came, because as you know time is a paradox.
     I think I'll start right now.