Well, that didn't work out.

I was going to have a couple new videos, but the Gray Gardens idea is still being planned, and the makeup video I shot didn't really work out too well! :(
I was also going to deliver a special surprise, but... That didn't work out either!
This week I'll really focus on delivering some good stuff.
Whilst talking about good stuff! I got a pair of boots! They should be here on Friday.
Perhaps a shoe unboxing is in order? I'm so excited to own a pair of these, because quite frankly finding a good shoe in my size is like finding a shark in the Eerie canal. Also, I'm going to be receiving something else extra special on Friday! It's going to be wonderful :D

On a separate note: My little brother bought his first car this weekend! It's a big ol' blue truck, and it's gorgeous! We spent some time in that over the weekend, windows down and music blasting, as a car ride should be. It's funny how one sets a goal and achieves it, haha. I've been quite awful at doing such. Mother thinks it has to do with my dwelling on the past, sadly I might have to agree. It seems I've gotten myself in an awful habit, er, a couple.
There's this voice inside my head that doesn't seem to want to stop squawking, like a big nasty bird right outside of your open window. The bird is immortal. Mother tells me to learn from the mistakes but not dwell on them, and I think my mind has a hard time processing the fact that I can move on from things. I'm sure I'm not the only creature on this planet that who suffers with this dilemma. I suppose all we can do is take it day by day, and hope that time can sort of fade away the slate that one focuses on. It's thirty seven minutes away from a new day so I have that to look forward to... Thirty six now.

On a last note! I've decided to try and submit more writing! I just need to grow some melons and select the pieces I want to send out. From there I can just take it day by day (common theme) and hope that the person who reads my words falls in love with them.

I hope your weekend was fantastic! :)
Thirty five!

Product review - Subtle makeup

                                      Product review #2: Neutrogena Oil - Free Acne Wash. 

(No makeup in this photo)!

I bought this product four days ago due to an annoying breakout.

After the first use my skin felt fantastic! I woke up the next morning and the breakout was nearly gone. 

Today all I have left is a little dot, that will be gone by morning, I'm in love with this stuff!

It smells really good, and works even better!

I know the review was brief, but it's just so simple and effective. 

I've been working on more subtle looks lately. Honestly, I find them harder than my dramatic looks. 

I worked on some smokey looks tonight and came out with this.

I'm planning on making a tutorial for more simple looks, seeing that people would probably leave the house with simple versus over the top, haha. 

I'll take requests as well. :)

This week.

This week has been crazy! But, I've been working towards bettering myself, so the crazy is necessary. This weekend I plan on making a couple new videos, and perhaps even doing a new recipe.
Change has been pretty nice this week.
So far I've gotten up everyday at 4:30AM.
I got a new bed set, and some clothes.
I've gotten a plethora of applications,
And I went through with a haircut.

I'm planning on doing a product review quite soon, because the face wash I got is amazing. I'm wearing no makeup in the photo! 

Hope you guys are having a great week! 

Change is in order.

The first step of success is actually trying, today I plan on doing such. It's an odd realization when you look in the mirror and realize that you are the one holding YOU back. At first denial pops up, and you think to yourself that your lack of effort comes from the weather, or a headache, or that today just doesn't feel right. Anger is next, and you reflect back at previous days and wonder what the hell you were thinking, or why you didn't try harder. This is the longest part of the process, this was the stage that I was really caught in. A web of bitterness, and wonder as to why I allow myself to wallow in what I had no control over. We are in complete control of our actions and decisions, and along our paths we are bound to make mistakes. Learning from a mistake is healthy, letting each one of them tear you apart is not. I realized this today, actually about thirty minutes ago. The lesson I'm teaching myself is to allow the past to wither away, but hold the lessons I learned close to me, as to not repeat them. Today, right now, I don't feel bitter. I don't feel sad, or angry. I feel ready to kick start a life.

Today is the perfect day for change, for something new.
Today I'm getting a haircut, getting job applications, getting a new comforter set, and spending some time outside. Today I'm going to get in the habit of building myself up. Right now is all that matters, to plan too far into the future will just build up the anxiety.
Right now, at 7:17 Am, I'm happy.
I plan to feel this way five minutes from now, twelve hours from now, ten years from now.

I hope you all feel happy right now as well.

Figuring this whole video thing out!

So I made a new video, and cut the process time in half! Learning new things has always been fun for me, unless of course it's math... I loathe math. This is a sort of club look I wear quite often. I was going to verbally guide how to achieve this look, but someone decided to play guitar whilst I was halfway through the look. Please do comment any looks you'd like to see. I'm planning on adding some recipe's soon, and my brother wants to work on a Gray Gardens spoof, so that should come to fruition in the near future. (Note- The blush was to go with the Jeffree theme, I would never apply that much and exit my home, haha).

:)

All I wanted to do was speed up the video!

Literally a nightmare!

I recorded myself painting my face. I had full intentions of speeding up the video, but had no editor or knowledge on how to do such. My brother informed me that if I just uploaded the forty-seven minute long video to youtube that it would allow me to speed the video up in the youtube editor... So I uploaded the video, which took a fantastic two plus hours to do. I went to the editor and discovered that there was no speed up option! I searched for video editing software and discovered that there was a free one offered by windows 7, so I downloaded it. For some horrible reason, the program would not accept the type of video that was on my computer, so I had to download a youtube video down loader, to down load my video from the interweb. That took a lovely hour and a half. Then, more problems arose so I decided to try and sleep. I woke up and fidgeted with the video, and realized that I had to re-download the whole thing again... But then the sun burst through the clouds and I figured everything out. So, here's my first makeup video!

Perhaps less is more!

         I was hanging out with my brother working on different makeup looks, when I decided to try and tone it down in hopes of doing makeup that a woman would actually wear. I found that soft and subtle makeup can actually be flattering, and I may wear it out once in a while. I've always been more attracted to the extremes in life, so when it came to makeup I guess I thought I'd follow suit. It was sort of nice looking in the mirror and not seeing something extreme. Unfortunately I forgot to snap a photo! But it's rather simple to explain. I used a white cream eye shadow all over my lid, and set it with white powder eye shadow. Then I put a soft gold tone in the the center of my lid, and a medium brown in my outer corner, I deepened my natural crease with the same brown color. I softly lined my water and lash line, and added a little liner on my upper lash line. I finished with mascara and a pink lip gloss.
          This has sort of inspired me to start doing some makeup that most people would wear out of their homes. If you'd like to see anything in particular just comment with a request.
       

Adding to my hatred of shaving.

As some of you may know, my hatred for shaving is intense.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, the hatred GREW. 

I dragged myself to the bathroom because, well, the beard was getting ridiculous. 

I washed my face, I exfoliated, and I went to go pump some shaving cream into my weary hands and realized that my brother took the SHAVING CREAM. If my beard wasn't as out of control as it was, I would have walked away.... But this bitch needed a shave. 

Then God sent me a thought, that saved my mug from being torn to shreds!

A recipe! 

1 squeeze of moisturizer.

1 Little dollop of Vaseline.

1 squeeze of hair conditioner.  

Mix well and apply to the mug; Er, or legs, chest, you get the drill. 

A nice close shave, no pain, no cuts, no tantrums. :D

Homemade Iced Coffee

No makeup Monday. 

What you will need!

*Blender

*3/4 pot of strong coffee

*Small sauce pan

*Cup and a half of milk

*Half cup of sugar

*1/2 cup of sugar

*2 cups of Ice

What you need to do!

*Make a strong pot of coffee

*Add the milk, Vanilla, and sugar to the sauce pan.

*Bring the pan to a simmer, then take it off the heat. Let it cool completely. 

*Once the coffee is finished let it cool.

*Pour the ice into the blender.

*Add the cooled coffee and then blend for fifteen seconds.

*Let the froth dissolve and then add the milk mix and stir with a spoon until blended. 

Enjoy! :)

Brushetta + Ham and swiss crostini

   Spring is a great time to entertain. The weather becomes tolerable and people begin to spend more time outside. The following recipe's are extremely simple and perfect for entertaining a group of friends or a party. I served both of these snacks with a tossed Cesar salad as dinner for my family. Hopefully you will try one or both of these, they really are quite tasty, and easy! :)

-Bruschetta with toasted baguette-

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. 

Ingredients 

* Baguette 

* Olive oil

* 3 tomatoes

* Onion

* 2 cloves of garlic

* Fresh basil

* Dried oregano

* Salt

* Pepper

Dice the tomatoes, then mince the garlic and onion.

The basil just needs a rough chop.

Add all tomato, onion, garlic, and basil to a medium sized bowl.

Add a quarter cup of olive oil, a tablespoon of oregano, a teaspoon of salt, and a teaspoon of pepper to the bowl. Mix all the ingredients together, cover and refrigerate. 

Slice the baguette slightly diagonally into quarter inch pieces. Once the baguette is cut place the pieces on a baking pan and drizzle them in olive oil. 

Bake for fourteen minutes, or until golden and crispy. Place the pieces on a serving plate, and take the bruschetta out of the refrigerator. You can leave the plate and the bowl separate, or you can add the bowl to a big serving platter or even a wooden cutting board. 

Enjoy! 

-Ham and swiss crostini- 

(Makes about 13)

Ingredients:

* Deli sliced ham

* Quarter block of Swiss cheese

* Baguette 

-Mayo Spread-

* 1 tablespoon Mayo

* Half a tablespoon Mustard (whatever kind you like)

* one teaspoon Black pepper

Slice the baguette into diagonal quarter inch pieces. 

Preheat your oven to 425 degrees. 

Grate the swiss cheese, and whip up the mayo spread for the crostini.

Spread a thin layer of the spread over the sliced baguette.

Tear the deli ham into bite sized pieces and fold some on top of the baguette. 

Sprinkle some swiss cheese over the ham and place the crostini's on a baking pan.

Bake for ten minutes, or until the cheese is bubbly and melted. 

You can plate these anyway you'd like.

Enjoy and comment if you'd like me to put up more recipe's! 

Inspired.

   I've woken up the past couple days with this need burning inside of myself to find some change. This cycle that I've become accustomed to, although safe is not much of a life at all. I've allowed my anxiety to take the wheel and direct me right into this concrete wall. I suppose the first step in changing this is admitting that I've allowed myself to get to this level of comfortable. I need to stop. I need to start chasing goals, because my life needs to be so much more spectacular than I've been leading.
   Visiting the city only fired up my thirst to live there more. I WILL live there. I've decided to keep a personal goal journal, in which I write every night to ensure that I am at least working on achieving some of the goals I've set for myself. My goals are as follows:
1. Exercise, and get down to a healthier weight.
2. Find a good job.
3. Get published
4. Save up money for a year or more.
5. After a year search for a job in the city.
6. Find a place and move there.
All of these goals can be achieved by taking small steps. I've always been the type to look at the whole picture, and if I couldn't get there in one jump, I would lose interest. I'm going to challenge myself with smaller stepping stones to ensure that I fulfill each goal successfully, with little room for failure.
    One step I took towards achieving a goal today was to exercise, and make a healthy dinner for my family. Tomorrow I plan on increasing my amount of exercise and spending some time outside (if the weather agrees). I'm feeling inspired, and it's a great feeling to have.

My day in NYC! Part 1.

I personally prefer the city at night, because I have ADD and all the lights had me enamored. But, the city in the day was pretty fantastic! We woke up around eight and got ready, then ran across the street to some bakery place, I honestly don't remember the name of. Then we explored 5th avenue and went inside Juicy Couture, they had some pretty colorful clothing. I saw the church that Jackie Onassis went to! Which was sort of cool cause pretty much the whole time I was there I was thinking of Gray Gardens and played little Edie quotes in my head all day. Here are a few pictures I took just walking around.

 Next time I'm going in there and buying something!

 Gucci :D

 The church Jackie O used to attend!

 People outside of the morning show.

After walking around we went back to our hotel room to freshen up and check out. We checked our bags in the hotel for the day so we didn't have to carry them around and then we took a bus tour. Here are a bunch of pictures from that. 

 Reminded me of Sharon Needles.

 My friend shopped in this store! It had a lot of cool stuff, and the shoes weren't bad either!

The picture above was taken directly from where we were dropped off in china town. Due to how many pictures I have left to post I'm going to stop right here, and finish adding the rest of the pictures in a separate post. I hope you guys enjoy these pictures as much as I did taking them!