The first step of success is actually trying, today I plan on doing such. It's an odd realization when you look in the mirror and realize that you are the one holding YOU back. At first denial pops up, and you think to yourself that your lack of effort comes from the weather, or a headache, or that today just doesn't feel right. Anger is next, and you reflect back at previous days and wonder what the hell you were thinking, or why you didn't try harder. This is the longest part of the process, this was the stage that I was really caught in. A web of bitterness, and wonder as to why I allow myself to wallow in what I had no control over. We are in complete control of our actions and decisions, and along our paths we are bound to make mistakes. Learning from a mistake is healthy, letting each one of them tear you apart is not. I realized this today, actually about thirty minutes ago. The lesson I'm teaching myself is to allow the past to wither away, but hold the lessons I learned close to me, as to not repeat them. Today, right now, I don't feel bitter. I don't feel sad, or angry. I feel ready to kick start a life.
Today is the perfect day for change, for something new.
Today I'm getting a haircut, getting job applications, getting a new comforter set, and spending some time outside. Today I'm going to get in the habit of building myself up. Right now is all that matters, to plan too far into the future will just build up the anxiety.
Right now, at 7:17 Am, I'm happy.
I plan to feel this way five minutes from now, twelve hours from now, ten years from now.
I hope you all feel happy right now as well.
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