I've left my little town to visit another little town, it's pretty refreshing. Repetitive cycles really have been bringing me down, it's nice to have a change of scenery. I'm really considering finding a job and staying here. It's a nice environment with good people, and energy. My home is draining, and it's made clear that I'm not really wanted there anyway. Stepping stones into the right direction, perhaps? Stepping stones in any direction beats the stagnant life I've been leading. I mean, I can't fully complain. My weekends are usually filled with some sort of chaotic fun, but at the end of the day it's just me standing in the same spot, with the same people, feeling the same things I felt seven days prior. I need to breathe in and taste fresh air, I've had a sample of that breath here.
Right now I'm picking though pieces trying to figure out what I want to send to Wilde magazine. They are accepting work for their next issue, and I think I might be brave enough to try and throw myself to the wolves. I really have been feeling the need for recognition lately. My words are all I can show for the past year and a half of my life. It would be beyond great to transition those words into something productive.
Here's a stanza from a piece I'm revising.
He was impeccable,
incredible, and delectable;
But also destructive,
distraught, and unreliable.
To allow him inside seemed
sort of a blessing,
Riding the wave of bliss
and pure hard longing.
Love was something he
didn't understand,
The emotion faded as the
sun descended.
Once again it was only
thoughts and questions,
As it usually was between
our phone calls.
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